Anything now or nothing

doing nothing as an activity of choice

Hey you,

long time eh.

We flew in from melbourne to singapore to move out of our home of 13 years from the west to the north of Singapore, half the size of the old place, twice as new and three times as fun. Yay. We did it. We left the past behind. I wrote the following while waiting for my ride. I am sharing it because I’ve written a hundred ( no less) drafts to you, all stuck in the outbox, waiting for the right day right feeling right weather to send the right letter to you and I never did for what feels like years have passed. It’s anything now or nothing, so i did a lucky draw and i present to you…

Sitting at the holding space, where people wait for their ride, some making calls, others frantically typing on their keyboards. I was cooking, now drinking coffee and thumbing my phone.

30 minutes before i am due to book my ride. I’ve sat here for 2 hours. I pulled out my full sized keyboard. Lunarian is using my notebook. I offered it to him. I crave tactile feedback. I want to dig into my backpack, for my toiletry bag, for the needles and threads to be kept in mesh, to tighten the jeans, i did not even thrift, but was given to me, then with a big hole, for making beakies. When barrel jeans became a thing, i patched it up, and wore the low waist skinny, as a mid waist slim barrel. It suits my height i conclude.

I want to sew up 1/4 of the stretched out button hole, reducing the waist by one quarter inch. Which half a meal or even an apple would have taken up.

It would be difficult, not to mention hard to explain, pointing a needle at myself, in a semi public space. But as i type this, i said to Lunarian doing tai chi, you know you’re right in front of the surveillance camera? He said, they can’t see my face.

But i did not take out the needle. Because i am typing on my keyboard, right under another surveillance camera.

I am typing.

Typing alphabets, to form words, to form phrases, sentences, ideas, to communicate, to send energy waves into this world, someone is watching, waiting, wanting to wave back.

Left to right: Lunarian, Marn

Marn: That sounds like i was under water. And in a way i was. But the truth is the truth, i’m not always above.

Lunarian: I thought the feeling was fine, who gets overly excited waiting for a ride unless I’m escaping devils island on the one and only rescue copter.

Marn: Fine, since you’re the subject of the piece. But my feelings about my feelings are all mine. I don’t care what you say.

Lunarian: … ( away washing dishes )

Marn: anything to add?

Lunarian: nothing

Bye and you’ll hear from me next week, or sooner, no promises because there’s no need no more, Marn