106 Seeing without light
She finally sees that she can’t see well due to visual processing challenges, so what now?
***
For the last two weeks, I’ve spent more time lying down in darkness wearing my ear defenders, doing nothing. When I’m not lying down, I did more. Less of the standing, sitting, pottering, busy doing too much none I could remember.
I started a large duck before I left, and came back to find it where I left them, smaller than I remember them. Have they grown bigger in my repeated recall, or are they dehydrated?
Perhaps more time is required for us to reacquaint with each other, they are now sitting by the window looking at the dark sky with no eyes, but they send happy vibes.
Comfort has no standards
I am uncomfortable with what others may consider normal brightness. Comfort for me is what others maybe consider too dark.
For a while, I thought I might have super night vision, or my brain is super at interpreting signals in the dark.
Perhaps. Perhaps not.
Knowing without seeing
Perhaps I see the same, and not see the same. Just more comfortable with darkness, with not seeing, with the inability to tell pink from red from brown, or purple from blue from green. Perhaps not seeing allows me to focus on how things feel in my hand, how they interlock or repel.
In the darkness of my room, illuminated by street lamp creeping through fully drawn blinds, I balled up every piece of remnant saved. Working only by touch I bound them tight, layer after layer, until the weight and the shape makes me smile.
I put on a little light, at its lowest, bouncing off the wall.
No mismatch, only beautiful
A duck again.
At the same level of brightness, or darkness, I put in a few stitches for eyes. But they flinched. I know I know, it’s too bright. Sunglasses, I asked. They said, but sunglasses come off when they go diving, and goggles too suffocating when worn ‘round the clock.
Now I shall walk away from this screen, return to darkness, to work on a an eye shield for them.
***
New here? What is this? who am I?
Hi there, this is where I share what goes on inside my head, how my art come to be, and the daily struggles that lead to breakthroughs that makes life so awfully fun.
I am Marn of noisybeak.com . From old un-donatable clothes collected in the community, I make soft sculptures of creatures of all kinds, unveiling the soul though storytelling.
Every life is varied unique and precious. Every thread part of the cosmos. You me and everybody here on earth and beyond. Sending you love.
Not so new here?
Gathering whatever energy I have, leave myself some, and beaming the rest to you. Marn